The Sapient Ape

Life as an employed MBA grad during an economic recovery. DISCLAIMER: Everything written here is fiction.

You live with guuuuurrl?

So — living with a girl — pros and cons.


Seriously tho I’ve been looking for apts, and I’m just wondering whether I could live with a girl.  Actually I’ve done it twice.  The first time was with Helen (yay Helen!) and that turned out pretty damn well, but she was a pretty chill person, and came with great recommendations.  We hung out a lot, and she took care of me when I first moved there and introduced me to her friends etc., etc.  In fact I became better friends with her friends than SHE was. I stole-ded them. We even shared a bathroom (I tried to keep it clean!), but since our place was pretty old school, it wasn’t the most spit-shined bathroom I’ve ever seen.  Plus we had a maid, which was KEY!

Snausages at my phat-ass crib in B-lona

Snausages at my phat-ass crib in B-lona

The second time was with Mel, and that was also a great experience.  It was three of us in that one place, and we were like fam.  We had sausage fests (with Vienna sausages — the eating kind, you pervs).

So how about with a “stranger” girl?  I am going to look at an apartment on Sunday which is pretty sick… its like a two level condo in Columbia Heights.  However, its with a girl.  I already FB-stalked her (lern2hideprofyle) and she seems pretty chill.  And the place is big enough that we won’t get in the way of each other.  Is it too much to just want to live like a real human being?  Like to live in a nice place?  I’m too old for this shit.  There looks like there’s space for my 50 inch TV which is all that matters, right?

Anyways, I think I could handle it — of course I’d have to stop walking around the house naked like I like to do with my male roommates — no more air-drying myself in the living room.  And I’d probably have to learn to be less flatulent.  Hmm… no more lentils or related legumes.

And of course I feel kind of intimidated ‘coz I’m not as awesome as I once was… no longer MBA student with stars in his eyes and the world in the palm of his hand, ripe for the plucking.  Meet damaged goods, with renewed Oedipal complex and not a lot of money.  I went from “the world is mine” to “the world is mean”.

So lets actually try to list the pros and cons:


  1. Hot friends.
  2. Likes to cook/eat.
  3. Is clean/cleans (don’t everyone start yelling at me — its true — girls DO like to clean more).


  1. More anal-retentive.
  2. The walking around naked thing.
  3. Can’t have loud sex (this shouldn’t be a problem for me as in order to have loud sex, one must be having sex in the first place).
  4. All my friends will try to hook up with her.

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